When it comes to stag dos, originality generally goes out the window. We’ve all been on those seedy trips to Prague, trapped in dank and depressing strip clubs.
So when Tony, from Hull, was asked to be his mate’s best man, he knew he had to pull something out of the bag. And that he did.
Rather than take the standard minibus on a bar crawl through town, he and seven mates bought an old limo and turned it into their very own ‘Fake Taxi’, taking it on a four-day tour and stopping off in Amsterdam, Wolfsburg and Berlin along the way.
Tony said: “I came across this limo for sale in Newcastle for £1,000 – should I do it?! I confided in one of the other lads Will, and after a bit of peer pressure, I bought it.
“The lads we bought it from had already done one Europe trip in it; they were pilots for KLM and six of them had chipped in to buy it from an undertaker. They had used it on Instagram under #limohoe and were delighted for us to continue the story so handed over the car and the Instagram account.
Best man Tony decided to do something a little different for his mate’s stag. Credit: LADbible
“I then had the idea of the infamous ‘Fake Taxi’ and ran it past our mate Will, who was in stitches. That was that bit sorted, then we got the stickers and light bar ordered off eBay – result.”
In case you’re reading this and are wondering what the hell a ‘fake taxi’ is, here’s a quick explanation.
Basically, Fake Taxi is a pornography site that creates special adult films where people get in fake taxis and end up having sex with the randy driver.
Ordinarily, passengers end up doing the deed in lieu of paying their fare or something similar. The action is then, of course, captured on the fake taxi driver’s seedy inward-facing dashcam. But it’s all fake though, except for the sex, that bit is very real.
They set off on a four-day journey across Europe, partying in Amsterdam, Wolfsburg and Berlin. Credit: LADbible
Now, let’s continue. With seven months to go until they left for their stag, Tony had the task of keeping his purchase under wraps.
So with time on his side, he got to work sprucing the new ride up, fitting a new sound system, disco ball, and of course, the famous Fake Taxi logo. He even managed to take it out for a couple of test rides.
“We used the car for a few prior trips with different mates, the deal was no photos as we must keep it a secret from Matt. It did local nights out, the NEC autosport show and another stag do in Carlisle before,” the electrician tells LADbible.
“Fortunately, the stag lives in Aberdeen, we are mates from uni. He came down the night before, but I kept it stashed at my work. It was a nightmare making sure no one let on until the morning we left.”
When Matt did eventually found out what was going on, it’s safe to say he was a bit startled.
Some people didn’t quite get it, so the lads added Fake Taxi’s website to the back of the limo. Credit: LADbible
Tony said: “Everyone assembled at mine on Tuesday evening while the car was still hidden at work. Will fed a story that we needed some extra tools in the morning, so we all piled in to go and get them.
“What he didn’t know was the fake taxi was sitting waiting. When we got there, he couldn’t believe his eyes. He was made up.”
And he wasn’t the only one. The group of lads made quite the impression at the ferry port.
Tony added: “We turned up at the port in Hull and loaded her on. We got pulled into customs, searched and after a bit of explaining why we had a limo full of lads, drink and luggage we were let on our way.
“The Dutch staff on the boat and the truck drivers were all laughing, they clearly knew what Fake Taxi was all about as well.
Tony spruced up the interior ahead of the trip. Credit: LADbible
“The foreign ferry guys loved it and named it the ‘f***y f***y bus’, giving us a farewell horn salute when we left the boat.”
He added: “It appeared that every tradesman in the North knew what Fake Taxi was too. The wives and daughters in family cars didn’t quite get it as much, but the dads clearly did.”
And the story was no different when Tony and the gang landed in Amsterdam. While some say British humour never quite translates to other countries, it turns out that porn does.
“The Dutch are well up for a laugh,” he said. “They definitely understood the Fake Taxi thing. Some of the Germans didn’t quite get it though, so we added the faketaxi dot com to the back and that got us some looks!”
The lads finally made it home after the journey of a lifetime and are now trying to find a new home for their baby. Credit: LADbible
One lad, however, got right into the spirit and thought Tony was going to offer him his big break.
Tony said: “When we turned up at the hotel in Wilmersdorf, Berlin, a young guy on a bike thought it was the real deal, asked if we were casting and said he would love to be in a porno – obviously we led him along. He took loads of photos to show his mates.
“I think he still thinks he’s met the real deal. He’s certainly shown all of his mates the photos of him in the driver’s seat of a fake taxi; he’s no doubt embellished his story as well!”
Now back home and recovering from a long trip, Tony and his mates are looking for someone to take their baby and create new memories.
And they’ve had an offer that surprised even them.
Tony said: “All nine of us had an amazing time, parties every night across Europe. Driving on autobahns at daft speeds, music blaring in near-perfect weather.
And the real Fake Taxi has said it’s interested in adding the bespoke limo to its fleet of cars. Credit: LADbible
“So all in all a top trip, best man duties are well and truly done with the wedding up in Aberdeen on the Bank holiday weekend. Would love to sell it to someone who’s going to keep the story going – they can even have the Instagram account #Limohoe.”
Since returning from their trip, they’ve actually been contacted by the real Fake Taxi, keen to take it off their hands.
A spokesperson from the porn site – which recently sold the ‘original Fake Taxi’ – said: “So the limo was brought to our attention by some fans last week and it does look pretty good indeed! Plenty of room.
“In September we are starting a Fake Taxi Tours company in Prague for stag dos and lads’ holidays where groups can ride in the original fake taxi and even watch a live porn shoot.
“Given that we might need to pick larger groups up from the airport soon, the fake limo is an interesting vehicle that we’re thinking about adding to our fleet.”
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